The death of a spouse or partner is different than other losses, in the sense that it literally changes every single thing in your world going forward. When your spouse dies, the way you eat changes. The way you watch TV changes. Your friends circle changes (or disappears completely). Your family dynamic/life changes (or disappears completely). Your financial status changes. Your job situation changes. It affects your self-worth. Your self-esteem. Your confidence. Your rhythms. The way you breathe. Your mentality. Your brain function. (Ever heard the term “widow brain?” If you don’t know what that is, count yourself as very lucky.) Your physical body, your hobbies, and your interests. Your sense of security. Your sense of humor. Your sense of womanhood or manhood. EVERY SINGLE THING CHANGES. You are handed a new life that you never asked for and that you don’t particularly want. It is the hardest, most gut-wrenching, horrific, life-altering things to live through.

Lamentations 3:20-24

(20) I will never forget this awful time,

    as I grieve over my loss.

(21) Yet I still dare to hope

    when I remember this:

(22) The faithful love of the LORD never ends!

    his mercies never cease.

(23) Great is his faithfulness;

    his mercies begin afresh each morning.

(24) I say to myself, “The LORD is my inheritance;

    therefore, I will hope in him!”

     It has now been four and a half years since my husband passed away. In that instant, everything changed. Since then, the changes have gone deeper in my life. Couples that we spent time with are still friends. But our time together is limited to passing each other in church. Unfortunately, the changes continue.

     As I re-read that paragraph, it sounds and feels so depressing. Yes, there are very real moments of grief and depression. But HOPE remains! I have come so much closer to my Lord as I rely completely on Him. My devotional time is deeper, more meaningful. My hope in Him is stronger than ever!

     The Lord has allowed me to do so many things since Paul passed away. He provided for me to purchase a home. I was ordained in 2023. Even more doors have opened to allow me to travel on Missions Trips to share Jesus and my hope in Him.

     Yes, this is a very difficult road to travel. When I am alone at home, I sometimes just sit and cry. But I would not trade this time for anything. Not even to have Paul back with me.  Because through the heartache and grief, I have found a holy and sacred Hope in my Lord Jesus. He is good to me. He is faithful. And He deserves all glory, honor and power.

     Don’t pity the widow. Encourage her to find that deep holy and sacred relationship with her Lord. He is all HOPE!